Why are humans always complaining about the weather? Rain is just a beautiful reason to sleep more hours. Instead of 12 naps, I get in 14. When I wake up, I just chase the water drops across the window.
Sunshine is great for rolling around and shining my fur. And a ray of sun is a great place for a nap, all warm and snuggly.
Chasing leaves and snowflakes in the fall and winter are good for keeping in my best buff condition. After all, a primo specimen of felinehood such as myself must keep up his health.
So, when the weather is not to your liking, take my advice and nap until it changes. Yawn.
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“It’s complicated?” What humans really mean is “I don’t wanna make a commitment I just wanna have a back up date and booty call”. Just grown-up speak for “friends with benefits.” Cats just sniff each others butts, knock boots and move on. The truth is way more efficient.
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When will humans learn? Don’t give animals food you wouldn’t eat. My human had some wonderful strawberries this week. After I made my desire for some clear, she offered me the cut off tops!
Why would I eat the part she was throwing away? And she didn’t even put sugar and whipped cream on it!
Come on, if you get sugar and whipped cream, so should I. After all, cats are vastly superior life forms, so we should get the best of everything. That’s OK, I scratched her favorite chair in retaliation. A cat’s gotta do what a cat’s gotta do.
Time for my third nap…
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Yawn… just a few thoughts why I would make a better world ruler than any human.
First, humans can’t even do simple math. If the price of oil drops, why would the price of gas go up? Not logical. Second, why can’t food stamps be used to buy pet food? The stuff is supposed to be made of real food products, so what’s up with that? Third, pet owners should get a tax deduction for owning and taking care of pets.
Medical research shows that pet owners have lower blood pressure, less incidence of depression and greater overall happiness. So, this adds up to less burden on the medical system. Can you say Tax Break?
Well, its time for my hourly licking and nap… meanwhile, write your congressman.
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Welcome to The Daily (C)rant. This forum is where Duchess MacGullicutty, better known as Smutty, will discuss ideas and news near and dear to his furry heart.
A little background; Smutty is a medium sized, short haired mutt of the feline persuasion. He is white with a small accent of apricot fur on top of his head and has green eyes. His lifelong ambition is to be the Surpreme Emperor of the Universe. This ambition has been thwarted by many things, primarily the rules and activities of the peons known as humans.
I, the transcriptionist, am Smutty’s primary servant. I believed myself to be acquiring a pet to add fun and joy to the household, but swiftly found myself in indentured servititude. I invite you to join me in following the activities of a most interesting specimen. Enjoy the ride.
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Life Musings from a Superior Species
