Tis the season to return overspent and underused gifts fala la la … from the best video games of the year to the worst pet gifts and a billionaire with no where to put his money. Pull the ribbon and bits of wrapping paper from your face and fur, Christmas is over and the hangover has begun.
If you got clothes for Christmas, chances are you are headed to the store this week. Beware, retailers are suffering and don’t want to cut any slack to customers. Most will be having narrow return windows and you need your receipt. Scrooge awards all around.
Gamers; take your gift cards and run right out and buy Batman: Arkham City. This is the best overall game of 2011 and has awesome graphics and story. Non-gamers might even like to just watch it, its so great.
If you have several billionaires in your country who cannot invest in anything due to government corruption, it might be time to ask Santa to intervene. In India, many have made fortunes with new business and technology. Now, they cannot invest in building, roads and infrastructure due to the level of government corruption that existed for decades. New officials are so afraid of the rules they take forever to approve any permits.
Indian Santas; high tail it over to America where you can get permits with no waiting or bribery involved. We are happy just to have your money, er, business.
Finally, Scrooge Award to California’s Marmonte League for benching a teen without even hearing why his guardian asked for a player exception. Hey Marmonte, does it make you feel better if you don’t know why you’re kicking the dog? Is it somehow OK to stomp on the cat while its down if you don’t listen to it scream? Well, if you refuse a request for residency waiver from a boy who survived attempted murder and moved from the state where it happened, you should LISTEN to the FACTS. Hey, even cats and dogs make peaceful exceptions when necessary. Lump of coal coming for 5 years.
Smutty Paws can finally put away his sleigh for the year.
Well the trees are up and the presents are bought (mostly). Children everywhere are out of school and excited. Parents are exhausted, and everyone is waiting for the big day.
But did you remember the furry members of your family? Smutty doesn’t want to put additional pressure on you at this busy time of year, but think; who didn’t lie to you, forget to take out the trash or get bad grades? Who always is happy to see you when you come home? Who sits on your lap or feet and keeps them warm for you? Doesn’t all this devotion deserve a little treat?
Now, Smutty has extravagant tastes (looking for that Samsung Galaxy Tab 8.9″, thank you), but your furry friend probably just wants a chew toy or new cushy bed or blanket. A couple of chewy treats would also be a good look out. All of these can be picked up with the groceries you have to get for dinner anyway, so be a good friend and remember your personal 4-paws.
And while you’re at it, go to the local Humane Society website and donate towards those furry friends with no forever home.
Merry Christmas and a Catty New Year!
Mall owners, if Mrs. Claus’ car gets stolen from your parking lot, DON’T FIRE MRS. CLAUS. Apparently, in Las Cruces, New Mexico they have brain drain brought on by lack of snow. They don’t understand what the Naughty/Nice list is for. It is to separate out the wrong behavior from the right. Take note mall owners; long time volunteers should be treated as the valuable resources they are, not put out to pasture to avoid bad publicity.
Doing this brought on the very bad publicity they were trying to avoid. Fortunately, they all came to their senses. The mall invited Mrs. Claus back and the thief returned the car, sans cash from her purse. Only half a lump of coal all around.
Of course, none of this would have happened if Mrs. Claus had used the sleigh instead of the Subaru. Reindeer have a great built in alarm system; biting.
Smutty is laughing and crying at the same time. Please have a Smart Holiday Season.