Hello fans, Smutty has been busy chasing butterflies, munching catmint and rolling around in the sun. In other words, taking full advantage of the great summer weather.
While I have been having fun, I noticed that the economy has not improved much, cats still do not qualify for food stamps, and people are still gullible to Internet scams.
But on the plus side, Cookie has been settling into the family and Nefertiti hasn’t swiped at me lately. The weather is good, my human lets me out each morning and there is plenty of cat food in our house. This is a major accomplishment since Nefertiti eats a LOT.
Our family is expecting a new addition in November (a human girl, my human’s granddaughter), so Brooklyn is in for some adjustments. She’s still pretty young, so it may be hard from a kitten point of view to be displaced by a baby. Maybe they’ll buy her some treats and I’ll get a few.
Sometimes I like to confuse my human. She is great and keeps me in food, water, catmint and toys, but as a feline, I have to stay mysterious.
First, if my human is reading or watching TV, I must end my nap and demand attention. Once I get attention, I must become aloof. Next, comes the random pounce. This is best attempted when your human is barefoot. It produces the maximum shock value.
But the favorite feline activity is to crawl up on the human’s neck. There is something warm and comfy about the neck area of a human. Also, it annoys them to have a cat on their neck. So you get double satisfaction from one act. It’s best to try this after your human is feeling guilty for not paying you enough attention. Then they will not push you away.
For the first year of my life, I was a happy kitten. Then came the interloper, my brother Nefertiti. It was hard, but I learned to adjust. He’s not too bad but every now and then he remembers I tried to eat him when he first came home and swipes a paw at me. Since his paws are tiny, this is no biggie.
Now we have two more additions to the family this year. First, the grandkitten, Brooklyn. She’s quite feisty and actually had the audacity to hiss at me! Me, the older and clearly more superior cat. How rude. Maybe she didn’t take it well when I tried to eat her.
Next comes Ms. Cookie. I haven’t actually had to share space with her since she is my human’s sister’s dog, but really! The whole concept of having a dog in the family just doesn’t sit well with me. We are a cat family and this should be followed by all. Anyone getting a dog should just be disowned.
I may forgive auntie since Cookie tries to act like a cat. She grooms herself and everything.
As a cat, I rarely have to worry about getting poor service at businesses. But now and then, the service my human receives affects my feline comforts.
For instance, when attempting to get a little ice cream (some for her, some for me), my human went to Meijers deli. She was served a tiny little portion that was supposed to be a double scoop, and, the rubbery edges were scraped into her cup. Of course, she did not attempt to bring this to me, a superior lifeform, but she had to go to a separate ice cream shop just to get our treat.
What a waste of time and money! Not to mention gas.
Smutty loves the article by Paul Carr outlining how the Internet enables those who act without thinking to circulate harmful and untruthful stories or, in some cases profilerate scams.
For instance, in May when the world apparently ended, as many as 2,000 people signed up for a service to take care of their pets AFTER the end of the world. They each paid $850.00 for this privilege.
Correct me if my feline brain has it wrong, but if the world ends, won’t pets be gone also? And how about the people who were paid to watch the pets, won’t they be dead? So, how will they fill the contract when they and the pets are dead?
An ounce of research can prevent a pound of useless re-tweeting and blogging.
Yawn… nap time.
As a cat, I consider myself mostly above petty politics, however now and then I feel it is my Cativic duty to speak out. The recent rash of silly scandals has forced me to make the following notes;
Politicians are hired by the public to perform a job. The jobs they perform affect a lot of people (and animals). Therefore their jobs require good judgement.
So, when a politician cries “I made a mistake”, there should be no sympathy for keeping their job. If you do not have a significant requirement of a position, for instance, good judgement. You should be fired. In private business, employees are fired if they do not have the skills for a job.
In the animal kingdom, animals are killed and eaten if they do not have good judgement.
So America, do you hold your politicians to a higher standard than your pet? If so, make sure you vote carefully next time.
Thank goodness for the human invention of air conditioning. A coat of fur when the temp is 90 plus degrees can be more than uncomfortable. But air conditioning keeps a feline at their best, lazing around taking naps, chasing invisible prey, nibbling cat chow and of course, grooming.
The only down side is that I can’t go outside to enjoy my catmint. Maybe my human will catch a hint and bring me some in… mmmm a cat can dream.
Speaking of which, its time for my late afternoon, pre-bedtime nap. Yawn.
Some years there are no good movies and some years there are too many to keep track of. 2011 is a big movie year and Smutty wants to know why cats can’t go to the theater? No, instead, we have to wait months or even a year for the DVD to be released.
Felines of the world unite, humans should be able to escort us to the movies for a little lick of slushie while we recline in the nice padded seats in the air conditioning. Cats are cleaner and more well behaved than most children, yet we are kept from enjoying a good movie!
I think I’ll write my congressperson… after my nap, yawn.
Why are humans always complaining about the weather? Rain is just a beautiful reason to sleep more hours. Instead of 12 naps, I get in 14. When I wake up, I just chase the water drops across the window.
Sunshine is great for rolling around and shining my fur. And a ray of sun is a great place for a nap, all warm and snuggly.
Chasing leaves and snowflakes in the fall and winter are good for keeping in my best buff condition. After all, a primo specimen of felinehood such as myself must keep up his health.
So, when the weather is not to your liking, take my advice and nap until it changes. Yawn.