Category Archives: Humor

Springtime Cheesy Bread

SmuttyCat’s Cheesy Bread

SmuttyCat is here to help you with a quick tip for perking up the weekday dinner. After all, what does the Supreme One love better than sleeping? Eating!

Looking for that perfect side dish for a quick meal? Or how about some snacks for lunchtime? Also makes a great weekend family project. In less than one hour, you could have delicious, chewy, hot, cheesy bread made from scratch. And you probably have all the ingredients in the cabinet or fridge. If you have regular whole wheat flour, pulse it finer with a food processor or a Ninja Master Prep Pro.

2 cups unbleached flour, 1 cup whole wheat pastry flour, 1/2 tsp. sea salt, 1 tsp. sugar, 1-1/2 tsp. active dry yeast, 1/8 cup olive or canola oil, 2 Tbsp. italian seasonings, 2 Tbsp. garlic powder, 1/3 cup italian blend cheese. Warm water.

Mix flour and sea salt together in large bowl and set aside. In small bowl mix sugar, yeast and 1/4 cup warm water (110 degrees or hot enough to be uncomfortable to touch, but not burn). Stir and set in warm area until it bubbles.

Add yeast mixture to flour, stir and slowly add more warm water until dough is slightly sticky, but still firm. Remove from bowl, oil bowl and return dough flipping once to coat. Cover and let rise about 30 minutes (can rise longer if you are busy, but not longer than 1-1/2 hours).

Sprinkle dough with flour and knead lightly (SmuttyCat just gives it 4 or 5 folds). Split in half. Spray cookie sheet with non-stick spray or sprinkle lightly with flour.

Spread one half of dough out on half of pan, dough should be at least 1/2 inch thick for chewyness. Repeat with other half (or freeze for later). Brush dough with oil, sprinkle with garlic powder, sprinkle heavily with Italian seasonings, cover with cheese.

Bake for 12-15 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool and cut into slices.

Dipping sauce: 1/4 jar traditional spaghetti sauce, 1/2 tsp. garlic powder, 1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning. Mix together and warm for 30 seconds in microwave.

Save some for SmuttyCat and enjoy!

 

Yep, Batman has a Son

Well, we all knew that Batman/Bruce Wayne had an interesting personal life. Now the backstory of Batman and Talia, daughter of Ra’s al ghul comes back to the forefront in  a new DC animated film, Son of Batman.

This is the story of Batman learning of the son he never knew he had and having to deal with the League of Assains’ training Damian has grown up with.

If the full film is anything like the trailer, DC has another hit. And of course, SmuttyCat is delivering the trailer, courtesy of DC and YouTube.

Jinn a Michigan Made Movie

The movie industry is alive and kicking in Michigan. Latest entrant is “Jinn” a movie from Exodus Pictures written by Ajmal Zaheer Ahmad. This is a mythology based story of the third creature sharing the planet with humans and angels. The race called jinn made of fire.

The story is about an average man who finds out his family has an unusual history linked with these creatures and is cursed. Like most humans, he is skeptical until all crap breaks loose. There is a mystery wise mentor, a crazy man who’s not really crazy and a car.

Not just any car, this one was designed by Ahmad for the movie and is available for sale as a limited edition. How cool is it that a Michigan movie stars a super slick hot rod. SmuttyCat has his order in.

SmuttyCat is proud to introduce you to the trailer if you haven’t seen it. Catch up your naps before April 4 when it is released, you won’t want to miss this one.

Thor 2 Bonus Fun

For SmuttyCat, one of the highlights of Thor: The Dark World was Loki (Tom Hiddleston) as comic relief. While not detracting from the main storyline, Loki provided several great moments on screen.

One of the main scenes was not used in the film, but is provided with the DVD/Blu-Ray. This shows Loki dressed as Captain America and needling Thor. The scene was re-shot with Chris Evans mimicking Tom’s performance.

And fear not fans, Loki’s jokester scenes do not detract from how dangerous he is for Asgard and Thor.

In case you haven’t picked up your copy yet, SmuttyCat has the clip below courtesy of io9.com. Comment below on Chris’ take on Loki.

Cattagaddon is Here

OK, some human idiot has published a book that states cats think humans are the same species. John Bradshaw (author of Cat Sense)  thinks cats believe humans are just harmless felines.

He couldn’t be more wrong. Cats are well aware that humans are not felines, but part of the human training regime is to make humans believe they are part of the family. In reality, cats are quite superior to humans and are fully aware of this. Humans are necessary because cat mental evolution has deprived them of opposable thumbs. There are always sacrifices for greatness. Meanwhile, the thumbs of humans are quite handy for opening cans of food, driving to the store for more food and cleaning the litter box.

He does get one fact correct, cats are not domesticated. Cats are wild animals who use humans to make our lives more comfortable and safe. After all, who wouldn’t choose a warm bed or couch over cold dirt or concrete? Only an idiot.

Skynet is Very Close

SmuttyCat has been keeping an eye on robots for a while now. Robots and felines don’t get along well because they can’t be predicted.

The latest news in the robotics world shows that SmuttyCat has been right all along, robots are trouble. First up, exoskeletons that read minds. Well, if it can read human thoughts, maybe it can control them.

Next, special muscles that are making robots extra strong and unbeatable. Unsurprisingly, Google is financing this project by purchasing the company who was spearheading the research.

Finally, a prizefight is shaping up between ATLAS and Valkyrie, two robots who are part of the DARPA robotics challenge to develop a means of exploring dangerous zones. In theory this is a great idea. But what is to prevent Skynet from turning them on humans? Hey, cats need humans until we evolve opposable thumbs.

Warm Up Movies

SmuttyCat hopes Santa brought you a warm coat and boots to go out and see the trio of great movies coming in this winter. Usually cold weather is for staying in and maxing out your Netflix account. But grab your hot coco and get out because you won’t want to miss these movies that sparkle like snow at night.

About Last Night

Starring Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall, and Joy Bryant, this is a  remake of the classic Demi Moore -Rob Lowe love story. Freshly updated with references to social media and dating, this is a great movie plot that holds up over time. Opening on February 14, 2014, it will make an interesting date movie. At least the humans will have something to talk about.

Baggage Claim

Starring Paula Patton and Taye Diggs, Baggage Claim is playing now. This is the story of a flight attendant who finds herself the last single woman in her family. With her younger sister’s wedding coming up in 30 days, she plots with friends to get engaged before the wedding.

A light, feel-good movie humans can cuddle up to.

Ride Along

Kevin Hart (Ben) makes another appearance here with heavy hitter Ice Cube (James). Ben tries to impress prospective brother-in-law James by riding along with him on police patrol. This is a buddy-action comedy that should make for good date night fun. Opening January 17.

Happy New Year

SmuttyCat New Year 2014

SmuttyCat wishes you a happy, prosperous, fun and magical New Year for 2014.

Terminator Returns

Yes, the king of “I’ll be back” returns to the big screen in a franchise reboot and, a TV series will follow soon.

The Terminator franchise will launch a new trilogy in July, 2015. The small screen version start has yet to be announced, but will follow the plot lines of the new trilogy. The new franchise will start out with Sarah Connor being targeted for termination as a child.

SmuttyCat loved Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and was sorry to see it go. Great pacing, solid acting and lots of action made for a successful addition to the Terminator family. The same team is writing for the new series, so there is a good chance of it being equally great.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles was the only redeeming segment after Terminator 2. Let’s face it, Terminator 3 and 4 were awful. Bad casting aside, the pacing and story were uneven at best. The last third of Salvation left SmuttyCat looking for a reason to kill off everyone. The Terminator gives a heart transplant to John Connor? Pleeze.

Hopefully, Terminator 5 writers will stick with the tense drama and great sci-fi legacy that worked in the first two movies. And most importantly, keep the sense of wonder that drove the franchise to success. Will the future be a wasteland or will the Connors and their pet Terminators save humankind?

SmuttyCat is rooting for the humans.

 

Ender’s Game is the Beginning of Fun

Ender’s Game is a science-fiction/action movie based on the novel and series of Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. The premise is that Earth is in a war with an insectoid alien race and has battle schools to train children with games from an early age to fight the aliens.

Ender, the main character, shows exceptional skills in these games and becomes the lynchpin of humanity’s survival. Kind of familiar territory in the broad strokes, the details are what make this story SmuttyCat appawed. There’s political intrigue, explosions, space fighting, and if that’s not enough, Harrison Ford. ‘Nuff said.

If you haven’t read the novels, here is a great cheat sheet to get you ready to have some fun at the movie.

Ender's Universe